"Achiever describes a constant need for achievement. You feel as if every day starts at zero. By the end of the day you must achieve something tangible in order to feel good about yourself." - pg 83 of Now, Discover Your Strengths (Buckingham & Clifton)

Does this sound like you...?

This is why I can't stay home full-time.

"After each of my two children was born I couldn't wait to get back to work. Eight weeks of maternity leave and I was DONE, it was time to return to the "real world". I couldn't put my finger on why I felt that way, I just know knew I wouldn't feel normal again until I returned to work.I was right.

"Life fell right back into place once I got back to my job. If anything, I was invigorated by the satisfaction of juggling motherhood with a demanding high-profile career. I couldn't understand how ANYONE could stand to stay home all week with their kids. It felt so repetitive and unsatisfying.

"Then it occurred to me one day...my Achiever theme explained it perfectly. When I was at home with the baby I couldn't accomplish ANYTHING! Nothing ever got DONE. I'd be sitting rocking the baby, looking into his beautiful blue eyes and after five minutes I was thinking about the list of things that I just HAD to get done (laundry, dishes, shopping, thank you cards, etc.). I even started creating things to do and then I was frustrated by not getting them DONE!

"It was the little voice of the Achiever in me that kept getting louder and louder. I need to be able to look at something tangible at the end of the day and say "I did THIS today!" Feeding the baby who would be hungry again in three hours just wouldn't put out the fire burning in me to accomplish things. Getting my child back in bed in one piece at the end of each day wasn't something I could put on a list and check off because it would constantly re-appear, never giving me that satisfaction of being DONE!

"Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and especially now that they are getting older I cherish every interaction with them, because I see how fast they are growing up. But I'm also realistic; keeping them alive and helping them grow and develop, isn't single-handedly going to fulfill my #5 theme, Achiever."

Monday, June 29, 2009

I feel like have conquered the world.

One Achiever Mom tells me "Now that both girls are in school I feel like I have conquered the world. I guess I can check conquering the world off my list. I made it through the hardest most challenging job ever-- staying home for the first 5 years."

I'd love to hear from more Achiever Moms who feel fulfilled staying home with their kids.
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Playtime circuit training

One Achiever mom tells me she finds herself playing with her kids in 10 minute increments. Play for 10 minutes, put in a load of clothes...play 10 more minutes, start dinner...and so on.

Actually, on one episode of Supper Nanny, I learned that getting your kids started with a game or task by engaging with them for the first few minutes is a great way to keep them happy and productive. It is much easier to step away for a few minutes to take care of chores and such if you have successfully gotten them engaged, rather than just handing them the toy or game and telling them to "go play." I have found this strategy to be very helpful in dealing with my Achiever theme.
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Sunday, June 21, 2009

New strategies I am trying...

I am trying a few new strategies to cope with this theme and maybe even capitalize on it.

1. I make lists of the fun things we are going to do on the weekends: swimming, go to the zoo, build a fort, bake cookies, etc.

2. I'm setting developmental activities as goals with my 4 year-old: sound out 10 words a day, practice writing 5 letters, etc.

3. I look for multi-tasking opportunities that allow me to accomplish something while also entertaining my kids. So far I've found that I can (a) swim laps in the pool while pushing the baby in her float, (b) walk laps in the park while my 4 year-old rides his bike, and (c) fold laundry while playing peek-a-boo with the baby.

I'm not saving the world, but I get to feel some sense of accomplishment without sacrificing the precious time I have with my kids. These aren't fool-proof...As we know kids have minds of their own and they don't always WANT to practice writing their letters, or bake cookies. And if it's on my list I can't just eliminate it, I have to actually DO it to feel satisfied. So, I'm working on being more flexible.
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Frustrated because I can't just ENJOY time with my kids!

It drives me CRAZY! When I'm with my kids my mind is racing, making lists of all the things I NEED to be doing. Ridiculous things like weeding the yard, going to Walmart to look at a new vacuum, looking for a new recipe...things that in the grand scheme of my life just don't matter!

I have to try SO hard to give them my undivided attention and when I fail I beat myself up for it. This is probably my biggest challenge as a mother.
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