It drives me CRAZY! When I'm with my kids my mind is racing, making lists of all the things I NEED to be doing. Ridiculous things like weeding the yard, going to Walmart to look at a new vacuum, looking for a new recipe...things that in the grand scheme of my life just don't matter!
I have to try SO hard to give them my undivided attention and when I fail I beat myself up for it. This is probably my biggest challenge as a mother.
"Achiever describes a constant need for achievement. You feel as if every day starts at zero. By the end of the day you must achieve something tangible in order to feel good about yourself." - pg 83 of Now, Discover Your Strengths (Buckingham & Clifton)
Does this sound like you...?
Does this sound like you...?
This is why I can't stay home full-time.
"After each of my two children was born I couldn't wait to get back to work. Eight weeks of maternity leave and I was DONE, it was time to return to the "real world". I couldn't put my finger on why I felt that way, I just know knew I wouldn't feel normal again until I returned to work.I was right.
"Life fell right back into place once I got back to my job. If anything, I was invigorated by the satisfaction of juggling motherhood with a demanding high-profile career. I couldn't understand how ANYONE could stand to stay home all week with their kids. It felt so repetitive and unsatisfying.
"Then it occurred to me one day...my Achiever theme explained it perfectly. When I was at home with the baby I couldn't accomplish ANYTHING! Nothing ever got DONE. I'd be sitting rocking the baby, looking into his beautiful blue eyes and after five minutes I was thinking about the list of things that I just HAD to get done (laundry, dishes, shopping, thank you cards, etc.). I even started creating things to do and then I was frustrated by not getting them DONE!
"It was the little voice of the Achiever in me that kept getting louder and louder. I need to be able to look at something tangible at the end of the day and say "I did THIS today!" Feeding the baby who would be hungry again in three hours just wouldn't put out the fire burning in me to accomplish things. Getting my child back in bed in one piece at the end of each day wasn't something I could put on a list and check off because it would constantly re-appear, never giving me that satisfaction of being DONE!
"Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and especially now that they are getting older I cherish every interaction with them, because I see how fast they are growing up. But I'm also realistic; keeping them alive and helping them grow and develop, isn't single-handedly going to fulfill my #5 theme, Achiever."
"Life fell right back into place once I got back to my job. If anything, I was invigorated by the satisfaction of juggling motherhood with a demanding high-profile career. I couldn't understand how ANYONE could stand to stay home all week with their kids. It felt so repetitive and unsatisfying.
"Then it occurred to me one day...my Achiever theme explained it perfectly. When I was at home with the baby I couldn't accomplish ANYTHING! Nothing ever got DONE. I'd be sitting rocking the baby, looking into his beautiful blue eyes and after five minutes I was thinking about the list of things that I just HAD to get done (laundry, dishes, shopping, thank you cards, etc.). I even started creating things to do and then I was frustrated by not getting them DONE!
"It was the little voice of the Achiever in me that kept getting louder and louder. I need to be able to look at something tangible at the end of the day and say "I did THIS today!" Feeding the baby who would be hungry again in three hours just wouldn't put out the fire burning in me to accomplish things. Getting my child back in bed in one piece at the end of each day wasn't something I could put on a list and check off because it would constantly re-appear, never giving me that satisfaction of being DONE!
"Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and especially now that they are getting older I cherish every interaction with them, because I see how fast they are growing up. But I'm also realistic; keeping them alive and helping them grow and develop, isn't single-handedly going to fulfill my #5 theme, Achiever."
Sunday, June 21, 2009
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